Items needed to clean house:

Bottle decent wine
Giant roll of paper towels
Orange scented cleaning spray
Cordless sweeper thing (I hate vacuum cleaners)
Bad TV shows interesting enough that I can stand to have them on … not so interesting I want to watch them
Swiffer Wet and Swiffer Dry
Giant bottle Laundry Detergent
Wash and Toss
Total disregard for the environment
That is right, Fuck the environment. I don’t want to keep any of the crap I use to clean for reuse. No it is dirty and gross and I am going to throw it away.

Now, I am going to drink some whiskey and hot water in an attempt to kill the evil germs growing inside me. Stupid cold.

I work too hard

So, as per the instructions of my supervisor ...I have been EXTREMELY lazy of late. Since I don't have time to start a new project before my contract runs out I am supposed to:
Make the work I have left to do last until I leave
Not finish the "crappier" jobs since technically I don't HAVE to do them, instead leave them for the new surveyor to do
The problem? I work too hard, I am too efficient. I don't know how to work slowly ... So I waste time in between each task ...I drink gallons of Diet Coke, I read everyone and their brother's 'Blog, I post to my 'Blog, I check my e-mail 50,000 times. I am getting worried ... I am down to the crappy work (for the most part) and even at my slowest ... That wont last the rest of the week. Piss, if they had just renewed my FREAKING contract ... I could be working on a new project right now. Instead I am going to do crappy work, writing up instructions for everyone who does this work in the future (since, at this point, I'm the only person who knows just how to do it), filing (I hate filing ... It is so hard on my cuticles, purging documents ... And that STILL wont take me through the rest of my time here ... Hell if I was working full speed ... It wouldn't take me the afternoon.
I just processed Document (officially numbered)13,000 that I have handled since May ... not including other projects.

"... and I told him I just cut the nerve ... just drive me to the hospital ... I'll get a couple of stitches..."

I have always been sort of anti-marriage and children ... But I think working for the County is making it worse. All day long I listen to the women here bitch about their husbands. I feel sorry the poor men. "Well, you KNOW how Jake can be..." a chorus of "Uh-huh" follows and the first woman will launch into a story about some misbehavior on the part of Jake with regular interjections of "I can't believe that!", "How could he even THINK of...", and "If he were MY husband I would have..." If enough husbands have misbehaved (as often happens around the opening of hunting season) the whole building thrums with female indignation and the men, supervisor, department head, and even Board Supervisors run for cover and in my office the surveyors work in silence and will bring treats to placate the women. The overall impression I have been given of marriage, after working here, is one of putting up with constant irritation and asinine behavior.
It is funny, most of these women are tough ... Telling stories of out drinking sailors or the summer they re-roofed their house by themselves and with a broken ankle ("Had to get done before the Fall rain!") And one of the most common husband complaints is that their man is being a nursemaid, or a baby. ... I think those are the stories that put me off the most. A jackass I can handle ... But being babied or caring for some whining adult ... I think it would drive me mad.

Allow me to explain ...

Since the official announcement is in about a half hour I think I can explain a couple of previously enigmatic posts. Specifically Fucking Christ (I bet he is a divine lay) and Secrets don't make friends, part of my relief about losing my job is ... My one boss was voted out of office (you all already knew that) and my other boss is retiring. Yup, after the first of the year the Mapping/Surveying Dept. Goes from Ted, Matt, Sally, Kelly, and Amber to Sally, Kelly and Pat. This is very sad for me personally since I have known Ted as a surrogate grandfather since I was 8 years old (even though he is younger than my dad!) His office was next to my mom's and I would stop by my mom's office after school and look at the maps. This double loss is also a hardship for the county since Ted has taken Sauk County from hand drawn mylar maps (and his mylar maps are absolutely beautiful, frame worthy art works) in the early 70's to today mapping in Cad and our new GIS site and Matt is the best young surveyor around. (Matt reminds me of James in many ways.) So I will soon be unemployed soon (not that I would be really excited about staying in this office anymore) and my mother has gotten her Holiday dose of crazy. *Have a Holly Jolly Christmas ... Its the best time of the year...*

Small town life revisited

Is there anything funnier than the former Sheriff of rural little Sauk County going by the name "Butch" Steinhorst? Especially when he has been doing so for so long that I don't know a single person who could tell you his real first name with out serious reflection. Why yes, there IS something funnier. It is funnier when he is a cute, dirty, little old man who flirts with me in front of my boss. I love small town Wisconsin.

Back in 1994....

When do you get too old to stay up all night talking to cute boys on the phone and giggling like an ass? Apparently 23 is not too old, or I am suffering from arrested development. What in the name of all that is holy am I doing? It gets worse, scary to admit … but the 13 year old behavior no longer limits itself to when I am actually in contact with said young man. No, I revert to 13 year old behavior with anything associated with this cute boy. Stupid estrogen. Blah. I probably sound creepy. I am also SEVERLY regretting mocking Brit all of those times ….