Thursday, January 06, 2005

Hungover

Oh God!

Who snuck in and filled my mouth with flour and motor oil? … Wait, no. I think that is what is left of my saliva … where is the coffee?

Why is my kitchen floor covered in bacon? Oh goody! More empty bottles … where is the aspirin?

Why does the goddamn snow have to be so WHITE? Oh! And cold! Very Cold! And more empties…

I don’t think my body likes me anymore … and it is just going to get worse this weekend … little hair of the dog anyone?

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

No need to panic people!

So I got up this morning and turned on the TV and there was this show ... "Bridezillas" ... I greatly enjoyed watching women start the episode as perfectly pleasant, reasonable people and end it by being fire-breathing Hell beasts. Their husbands-to-be were all very kind and sweet in that "duck and cover, this-will-all-be-over-soon-and-I-will-get-my-real-woman-back" kind of way as they were being berated for not understanding the importance of eggshell white napkins over ecru white napkins. But watching this program made me wonder what kind of bride I would be ... and I quickly came to the conclusion that in all likelihood I would be the ULTIMATE Bridezilla ... leveling not just Tokyo but entire continents. My first instinct would be to run a wedding the way I work a show ... and those who have worked shows with me (as well as the citizens of Tokyo) breathe a sigh of relief at the thought that the is NO WEDDING in my future ... so you can all come out of the doorways and put away the emergency rations.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

This can't be good

I have been unemployed for 1 1/2 days and I already feel like a drain on society. As I think about it I realize that I have not been unemployed since the summer before I left for Hillsdale (and that summer I was in Europe ... so a job was not really in the picture) I have had at least one job, if not two or three, ever since then. Now, I have no job and I don't even have the student thang (SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!) to keep me busy. It reminds me of when shows would strike ... after going full tilt for so long ... I don't know HOW to stop.

Monday, January 03, 2005

What I learned in school

So, I am part of a Technical Theatre mailing list and some young TD wrote in asking about Luan vs. Masonite for siding Hollywood flats. I got to feel all smart with my response because two TDs had answered his question before hand and not mentioned or had only lightly touched on some points I consider very important. The two TDs spoke mainly of tensile strength without considering finishing effects. It is all good to save $.50 a sheet with Masonite but if you triple your paint costs you have gained nothing. At the same time if you get Luan and your prop person goes to innocently hang a picture on the flat and rips a hole in the Luan you are equally screwed. I said “A lot also depends on what kind of finishing techniques your scenic artist and scenic designer are planning ... masonite will soak up paint and increase your paint costs while (as someone previously said) luan takes paint well ... also if they are looking for a stained wood effect ... luan can be stained (and depending on how large your space is) look great from the house ... if you want the same kind of stained wood effect from masonite a good deal of time will have to be devoted to painted wood grain effects. Also if you are going to be papering over the flats (for say, a house interior) masonite will soak up wallpaper glue the same way it soaks up paint. On the other hand if the look of masonite is something your S.A./S.D. finds interesting ... trying to make luan have that look is tough. Ask yourself what kind of tensile strength you are looking for ... what (if any) kind of impacts should these flats be expected to take? Are you going to have to move them a lot? (either for scenechanges or for rep.) If it IS for an interior ... are pictures going to be hung on the walls? (in that case the rigidity of the masonite would be an advantage) When there isn't a big cost savings to go one route over another (and just in general) talk to the rest of your team to find out what THEY want or expect from the materials.” It is nice to have such moments to remind me I really did learn something in school.

On a different note … today I am attempting to apply for unemployment … rather unsuccessfully since I keep getting a busy signal at the WDWD.

3