I Love the Midwest (and everybody loves a Midwestern girl!)

I was sitting here clacking away on my keyboard when my mom slips in to say "Its snowing." FUCK YEAH! WOOOHOOOO! First snow of the season here in the 'Boo. O.K. so we didn't have the traditional white Halloween or even a white Thanksgiving ... and sure it wont stick and there will be no skiing or sledding or anything for a month at least ... but it is SNOW. Snow! Glorious snow! The nice thing is it is a "warm" snow ... you know the kind ... when it is JUST cold enough to snow so you aren't freezing you ass off.

I umm ... like snow a lot.

I don't play fair!

I remember hearing an interview with either Billy Corgan or Rob Thomas (don’t worry this is not going to be a music rant) and the interviewer asked why so many of his songs were sad or angry, and if he wasn’t ever happy. To which either Billy or Rob replied that he writes music to workout “bad” emotions. When he is happy, which he often is, he doesn’t feel the need to write because he just wants to enjoy the moment. I started to think about this as I realized that most of my ‘blog posts, diary entries, stories, poems, and plays are written when I am either pissed off or sad. I think my answer to the same question is even more selfish than his though. I don’t not write because I am enjoying the moment... I don’t write because I want to keep my joy to myself. I am often joyful … I sing little songs, dance in my apartment in my underwear, I speak to myself in elated gibberish. I hold on to my joy as a very private thing. It is mine alone. I HATE sharing joy. I am a little embarrassed by my expressions of real joy and happiness. My anger and my sadness though … I tend to feel like I can’t contain them. If I keep them private, like I keep my joy, they will eat at me until I do something silly … like rip apart a door frame or break something.

All of this means that I do something very unfair to my friends. I ask them to share the burden of my anger and pain … but I don’t let them see my joy.

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

I think the most interesting part of the Truth Quiz is the dichotomy. Now, because the whole point is to let people be honest about what they think of you I don’t want to know who said what but … I think it is fascinating that in many areas the answers people gave were complete opposites. For example:

• I am both very good at helping solve problems (I’d lie on your psychologist couch any day) and I offer TERRIBLE advice (If I ever followed your advice, I'd probably end up pantsless on a highway somewhere)
• I keep secrets well (We should rename you "The Vault.") and tell too much (Sometimes I wish you'd keep your own personal business to yourself.)
• I am both down to earth (They know you by name at the Salvation Army.) and extravagant (Your idea of slumming it is only getting one pair of Manolo shoes.)
• Helpful at healing emotional booboos (Yeah [I’d call you if I was in a bad mood]--except, of course, when the crisis is about you.) and damaging (I'd never trust you with my tender heart.)

Someone also gave me an “F” in smart (which is of course fine as I have never considered myself to be a super genius or anything) I just think it is strange that I am such DIFFERENT things to people. But over all it seems I am a good friend with an over all “A” rating.

In other news … I went to the bar with Edwards and Douglas last night … Edwards and I managed to bore Douglas stiff with jokes about historic wars and our debate on social/economic/political policy. It seems state school has turned that boy socialist. So we agreed to disagree and Edwards and I topped the night off with my whipping his butt on Earthworm Jim (on my old Sega Genesis) and went to bed (yes, separately you perverts).

I'm a good mood kind of friend

I appeared to be insane today at work when sur pressing my urge to scream "NO! You fool! YOU FOOOOOOL!" At a surveyor (no real reason) caused me to giggle uncontrollably for five min.

Also according to Truth Quiz ... even though I am a good person to ask for help with your problems ... people only like to talk to me when they are in a good mood. I guess I'm best at helping with those luxury problems. ... I can see it now,
Friend: Amber! Help! I have too much money and all kinds of hot guys/girls want my body! What should I do?
Amber: Go to the store buy a TON of garlic and onions. Eat them. Now you have wasted all your money on garlic and onions and you smell bad. Problems solved!

Sin and a Sex Kitten

Amber, you're more sinful than the average person. And the thing you most need to keep an eye on is Pride.

If you aren't careful, your drive to excel at all costs may ultimately be your downfall. Feeling proud of your successes might be a gratifying way to acknowledge your work and position in life. Still, you should beware of prioritizing your achievements above other things and using them as a way to feel superior to others.

But you're not alone. Pride is an ancient vice and you can learn how to keep this temptation in check.



You're Brigitte Bardot!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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"Make 'em cry" huh? geeze! why am I always a maneater? I think I am sweet! Not a ball breaking bone in my body!