Items needed to clean house:

Bottle decent wine
Giant roll of paper towels
Orange scented cleaning spray
Cordless sweeper thing (I hate vacuum cleaners)
Bad TV shows interesting enough that I can stand to have them on … not so interesting I want to watch them
Swiffer Wet and Swiffer Dry
Giant bottle Laundry Detergent
Wash and Toss
Total disregard for the environment
That is right, Fuck the environment. I don’t want to keep any of the crap I use to clean for reuse. No it is dirty and gross and I am going to throw it away.

Now, I am going to drink some whiskey and hot water in an attempt to kill the evil germs growing inside me. Stupid cold.