FUCK

The panic is …
I just …
FUCK. I should have worked harder, done something more marketable. If I wasn’t so lazy and selfish I wouldn’t be unemployed. If I were a better person I would have a job I love and a happy life in which things made sense. Because I think I deserve something better than … I don’t know … my sense of entitlement is outrageous. You only get what you earn and years of going through life being given things is catching up with me. I’m just like my FUCKING SISTER. Wasting and spoiling every opportunity I am given. I should have stayed in California. I am not useful for anything else. I am not even very useful for that.