The thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts

Library and books

2009-01-06T20:40:00.003-06:00

If all human existence could be condensed into a single building it is a library. Libraries are the store houses of all human passion. The good ones have a smell totally unique ... old tobacco smoke from the days when smoking was allowed, paper, and old leather. Is there a greater smell in all the world? I know I am not alone in my passion for libraries ... the obsessive love ... not just of books, but the buildings and rooms that house them is repeated, and often, in books, music, and film. For me libraries are total loneliness, the full embrace of all of humanity, and sex all in one convenient location ...assuming it is a GOOD library filled with books, not Cd's or DVDs and has been such for at least 100 years.
On books all I have to say is that I was reading Flaubert's Madam Bovary recently ... the forward is by Caroline Gordon, an accomplished Kentuckian author. She details Flaubert's struggle with each phrase, sentence, paragraph and his effort to make his novel perfect ... trim ... beautiful ... nothing superfulus, no awkward phrase. This does nothing for me but make me feel guilty for not reading it in the origional French, not that I could and have any greater understanding than reading it in English.

For amy d

2008-04-29T09:28:00.003-05:00

Amy takes her lunch outside

Question

2008-03-14T11:43:00.002-05:00

So I was taking a survey from BlogHer (in support of my FAVORITE blog Passive Aggressive Notes) and one question stopped me in my tracks.

Do you think the next President should write his or her own blog? If so why?

I have NO IDEA. On the one hand such a casual forum through which we, the American public, could feel like we have an ongoing dialog with our president would be nice. It makes think of FDR's "Fireside Chats" revamped for the computer age but even with such an evil association my gut reaction is that the president maintaining a blog his or her own self would be wonderful. The public would feel like they have a direct line to the president's ear!

Then my brain kicks in and says "That is the problem, it would be a FEELING." We can already write letters and send emails to our elected officials, why would blog comments be more personally read and attended to than the access already granted? Would we actually learn anything new? Doubtful. What would the President post in this blog that we can't already know from other sources? All interesting information is too heavily guarded to be posted and the rest is already so widely available that having the president post it to a blog is just a redundant waste of valuable time.

Least romantic person ever.

2008-02-14T09:51:00.001-06:00

So, I decided to look back on my 'blog and find previous Valentine's Day posts. I only found ONE.

It was about Zoning Laws and Chain letters. Guess I am just not a starry eyed romantic.

a little creativity ... doesn't go far enough

2008-02-05T13:01:00.001-06:00

For anglophile:

Dreaming strange

2008-02-05T06:40:00.000-06:00

The past two nights I have had some strange dreams.

Night before last I was at college and dating an extremely short basketball player. While he was very sweet he was not very bright and whilst hanging out in dorm rooms my friends (all friends I actually had in college) were mocking me for dating so far below my intelligence level. The poor guy stopped by to see me but couldn't keep up with the conversation.

Last night I sat at a picnic table behind my old dorm with an ex-boyfriend from college. As we watched the ants carry off bits of our take-out lunch we talked about the people we miss from college but can not tell such. It ended with me saying, "Well, I will never see you again."

My first thought upon waking was "ohh dream, you are some bit of mustard or under digested beef." My second thought was, "When did I become Ebenezer Scrooge?" It was this point that I began to think in earnest about the second dream. Such an obvious kick in the rear from one's subconscious is hard to ignore.

A newly acquired Facebook game has resulted in me lurking about Facebook for extended periods of time. The lurking has resulted in me checking up on many of the people I knew in college but have not seen or spoken to since.

For years I have missed Hillsdale in the Spring. I have missed that strange time when the year is winding down and the weather is warm. I have missed wandering up onto porches to have a beer with friends and having friends wander up to my house. I have assumed for all of the years that I have missed Hillsdale in the Spring that what I was truly missing was the close proximity of my dearest friends. This latest dream leaves me doubting this.

I stay in contact with most of my closest friends from my time in college. We call, we visit, we celebrate births and marriages and we make a point to visit each other as a large group at least once a year. In a house somewhere we gather and pretend for 48 hours or so that we are still in college. We drink and do stupid things and tell old stories that we have all heard a thousand times before and we laugh all the harder for the retelling.

I think that what I truly miss in the spring are the people I don't see or talk to anymore. I miss the friendships and potential friendships lost to time. Spring in Hillsdale was my own Erev Yom Kippur. When the weather was warm and house space was no longer at a premium all were welcome and it was possible to connect or reconnect with those you had spent little or no time with during the stressful heights of Winter's course work. These are the people now in the long days since graduation you never think about, until forcefully reminded by an old picture, spotting their doppleganger on the street or seeing something that you know would bring a smile to their face. Suddenly you remember them and think, "I wonder how they are. I wonder where they are and if they are happy."

At one of my recent gatherings I had the opportunity to reconnect with one of those people who hang fitfully at the edge of my thoughts. In the middle of our gathering he stood; tall and gangling, foul and noble as I remembered him. He is fine, he is around and while he may not be happy per say he is unhappy in that general sort of working, living, figuring life out sort of way that most people are unhappy.

When I miss Hillsdale in the Spring I am not missing the place nor the people who regularly feel the brunt of my rather spiky love. What I miss is you. All of you. All of the faces I passed in the quad or sat one booth down from in the Snack Bar. You, who touched my life. We were close once, or we might have been. Now I will never see you again.

Are you lost to me? Am I lost to you? Do I sit at the edge of your thoughts waiting to spring out and make you wonder about me when you see us in old pictures, when you see my doppleganger on the street, when you see something you know would make me smile? Just so you know I am fine. I am as loud and generous, foul and loyal as you remember me. I am around and while I may not be happy, I am unhappy in that general sort of figuring life out sort of way most people are unhappy.

Halloween, finally!

2008-01-24T15:36:00.001-06:00

My husband as Hagrid
My folks as Madam Hooch and Snape
The four of us l-r Snape, Hagrid, Tonks, and Hooch
The full effect of the floating candles

The Guinness

2008-01-18T11:54:00.000-06:00

BOYCOTT!!!!

2007-07-18T17:41:00.000-05:00

I know I know I have not posted in a while, I have been working (finally) and when I get more time I will be posting the 3-4 ideas I have, BUT this is important to me.

By now you probably have heard about the EVIL Michael Vick; well what you may or may not also know is that as of today he has only been dropped by TransAir and Boys and Girls club of America as far as his endorsement contracts. He STILL has contracts with Rawlings, Powerade, Kraft and NIKE. PLEASE join me in boycotting these companies until they drop his contract.

Frustration

2007-04-10T14:33:00.000-05:00

I get angry because I see very stupid people with high paying jobs, yet I can't find work.

Eccentric or Crazy?

2007-03-27T11:14:00.001-05:00

So, in addition to the requirement of fabulous wealth used to distinguish between eccentric and crazy there also seems to be an age requirement. While I think there is a subordinate exemption for “artistic geniuses” to be considered eccentric even at a younger age (as long as they meet the fabulous wealth requirement), even if you are fabulously wealthy if you are younger than mid-forties and of average talents you are still crazy not eccentric.

Spring has sprung

2007-03-23T12:36:00.000-05:00

Lame and revisionist as I may be, today has me missing Hillsdale. No, I don’t wish I had a pile of homework to ignore. Weather like this, when it first gets actually warm enough to spend most of the day outside, makes me nostalgic for wandering over to a friend’s house to drink beers, grill out (or order pizza), and watch the street from the porch.

Would you please use that in a sentence?

2007-03-15T13:31:00.000-05:00

Perhaps I am overly harsh ... maybe I am jealous because I can't spell worth a darn ... but does Fergie, of Blackeyed Peas fame, expect us to be impressed by her spelling prowess? She goes on for quite a while spelling things for us in her song "Fergalicious" and recently I had the extreme misfortune to have paused on MTV and then promptly lose the remote in the couch cushions while her new video for "Glamerous" was on. "G-L-A-M-E-R-O-U-S"

The Wave of the FUTURE!!!

2007-03-06T11:41:00.000-06:00

Meh, not really that exciting but I just finished watching an episode of The Black Donnellys that will not be aired on TV. I watched it on the internet. (Now, before you start saying “O.K. GRANDMA Internet video is not new.” I want to say that I watched this whole episode on NBC.com and it got me thinking … no need to introduce me to YOUTUBE … I am familiar, thank you.)

Perhaps I am just plain, old fashioned behind the times but I have not heard of other networks running FULL NEW episodes on-line. If any of you have examples I would love to hear them! This isn’t deleted scraps or

This move makes me wonder about what NBC is doing with this show. I know that the big networks are looking to do more on-line. Getting people like me, who don't normally watch our TV* on the internet, hooked with a broadcast season then perhaps continuing to run the show online. I mean if it is on-line it can be more violent and obscenity filled than they could EVER show on broadcast TV.

Could TBD be NBC's attempt to break into internet television? The marketing advantages to having broadcast and internet programs are tremendous because it is possible to have an infinite number of programs (with advertising skewed to appeal an infinite number of demographics) simultaneously. Creating and maintaining a stable of high quality internet television MUCH earlier than the other broadcast networks could REALLY help NBC corner this market early.

Wondering what the hell I am talking about? Check out The Black Donnellys season to date HERE

*TV referring to episodic programming versus the occasional video of a cat on a ceiling fan or some kid getting hit in the nuts.

Happy Harry Potter Day!!!

2007-03-02T14:15:00.000-06:00

So there are people trying to make an Official Harry Potter Holiday. Not so crazy considering there are lots of official holidays and awareness days that no one pays attention to. So Sign the flippin' petition already!

http://www.harrypotterholiday.com/petition

Equus Revisited

2007-02-28T10:38:00.000-06:00

So every review I read of Equus blathers on and on about Daniel Radcliff’s amazing performance and then ends with a blurb from American theatre critic Matt Wolf saying “I do admire him for taking it on. This is jumping in at the deep end. He makes you forget about Harry Potter but you can't help wishing he was in a stronger vehicle. It has not stood the test of time.” I have looked and looked but I can’t find a full review from Mr. Wolf so I have no explanation of what he means by ‘Equus has not stood the test of time.’ I don’t understand how such a relatively young work that is about the loss of spirituality hasn’t stood the test of time. I want to know just what the problems were that were material problems and not production problems. Unfortunately the production has been so over shadowed by Daniel Radcliff that I can’t find a review that discusses anything other than him so I can’t even try to glean an understanding of what the production problems or material problems were. If I had to guess I would say that the problems with making Equus resonate with today’s audience are more problems with direction than anything. I think the story itself applies more readily today than ever before in history and if it falls short in affecting the audience then the problem is not the material.

In other news

The Baraboo City Counsel, being sneaky little bastards, never tabled to a date at their last meeting and held further discussion on the zoning issue last night (without notice to the community, just slipped it into their agenda). This issue makes me so angry I could spit. One of the alder-people read a letter from one citizen to another (the letter writer opposed the re-zoning the recipient is for it) the grammar was bad, and at one point the letter writer DID call the recipient a dumb-ass, but the points were valid (The multi-family dwellings were there when you moved in, if you don’t like living next to multi-family dwellings you shouldn’t have purchased that house. If it really bothers you then move.) He then said “This is the neighborhood we are trying to protect?!?” I almost threw my glass at the TV. He was, in effect, saying that renters have bad grammar and swear and do not deserve to live in this neighborhood. How DARE he?! I am so upset by this issue and the stupidity of the alder-persons that I can’t decide if it would be better to just move and leave Baraboo to rot or to move into one of their Wards and run against them.

Do you know what the problem is with your generation?

2007-02-26T11:28:00.000-06:00

No, this is not a rant about the hoodlum neighborhood kids. This is a rant about my (possibly our) parents generation. Sometime in the 1960’s the Baby-Boomer generation realized that there is power in numbers. During their idealistic youth they tried to use this power for high minded goals, ending war and bigotry and doing copious amounts of drugs. Now that they are growing older this ‘strength in numbers’ attitude seems to have morphed into a sense of entitlement. I say this because just this morning I read yet another letter to an advice columnist regarding the wants of the Baby-boomer generation. They write in and DEMAND larger print on packaging, easier to open containers and building codes with their age group in mind. I probably wouldn’t be so irritated by these letters if they didn’t present their case like they are holding the market hostage. If the letters were written saying things like “Now that the Baby-Boomer generation is growing older manufacturers would do well to change their packaging so that it is easier for older people to read/open. They are loosing a large market share due to many older people not wanting to buy products they can’t read, recognize or open.” Now, such a thing STILL doesn’t belong in an advice column BUT it is far better than examples such as this (from today’s Dear Abby): As the "Baby Boom" generation is now growing older, when will food product manufacturers wise up to the fact that printing cooking instructions on their products is no longer acceptable? No longer acceptable ?!? Sorry, the market isn’t some recalcitrant child who didn’t do his/her chores and needs a talking to.
There seems to be a pervasive attitude in the Boomer generation that the world MUST change to conform to their wants and needs as they grow older. At some point ‘Strength in numbers’ warped their minds into thinking that each Baby-Boomer is vitally important to the world and following generations should kowtow to their wants and needs. You have a problem with packaging? Write to the manufacturers. Start a letter writing campaign. IF your market share is large enough and it is commercially viable to do so, they might change their packaging to suit your needs. Simply demanding that the world and market change because you want it is unacceptable.

Oh, and please remember according to the 2005 population estimates only 12.4% of Americans are over the age of 65 and 24.8% are under 18. So … we out number you. That is right silly boomers, you went off and had kids of your own. Following population tends you can see that there is actually a second population bubble right around the time you all decided to put down your protest signs and start families.* (I call it the Baby Boom Echo**) The only real differences between the Baby Boomers and the Echo are that 1. We are a BIT more spread out 2. We are not constantly being told how powerful our numbers are.
We are just as powerful … and even now as I think about it there are more parallels. Protesting an un-winnable war? Check! Working for civil liberties (Same Sex unions and rights)? CHECK!
I hope to GOD learn from your mistakes and don’t end up with the same arrogant sense of entitlement you have.

*if you are interested the easiest way to look at this phenomenon locally is to look at area schools. Most communities had to build new schools to house the Baby Boom generation resulting in many area schools being built in the 50’s through the 70’s. These schools were plenty large enough to house the following generations until the echo hit in the 80’s and 90’s when these schools were often given large additions or scrapped entirely and rebuilt.
** The Echo population bubble is masked by dividing the echo bubble into multiple generational divisions. (I don’t think this is some great conspiracy to keep the Echo generation down, it just is how it is) While the Boomer generation is defined as anyone born between the end of WWII and the start of Vietnam (a LARGE chunk of time and actually multiple generations) the Echo generation is divided into Generation X and Generation Y, with a ten year overlap between the generations. It is through this division of generation names that some of the power of the Echo generation is usurped.

Zoning laws & Chain Letters

2007-02-14T08:15:00.000-06:00

GET OUT OF MY TOWN!

Thankfully the City Counsel tabled the rezoning plan. A really basic look at the zoning issue is this. Most of Baraboo is zoned R2, which means that homes in the R2 zoned area can be single family dwellings (aka a house) or multi-family dwellings (aka homes with apartments attached, duplexes, or apartment buildings). The City Counsel wanted to re-zone Baraboo so it would be almost exclusively R1 or R1-A which would make it ALL single family dwellings and make most of the multi-family dwellings in the rezoned area Legal Non-Compliant. Homes that are Legal Non-Compliant would have their mortgage notes called (No lending institution will carry a mortgage on a Legal Non-Compliant home) and be next to impossible to sell or buy. The only way to use the property would be to bulldoze the existing structure and build a new compliant home or restructure the current building to make it a single family dwelling. While there are several converted residences (structures that were built as single family dwellings and converted into multi-family dwellings) there are just as many homes that are over 100 years old that were built as multi-family dwellings. These are Victorian apartment complexes and Duplexes and would most likely have to be torn down under the re-zoning plan.

While I oppose this rezoning plan on principle (property owners rights WHAT?) the thing that really ticks me off is a little group of nimrods from right here in my own neighborhood. These people (I am trying REALLY hard not to swear) are upset because they bought homes (3-5 years ago) across the street from and next door to multi-family dwellings and they blame all the social ills in the neighborhood on the renters. They support the rezoning because “Renters are transient and don’t care about the neighborhood they live in.” This irks me because I am now a renter in their neighborhood (or I should say MY neighborhood), which is the same neighborhood I have lived in for more than twenty years. I think the best expression of this is one event that one of these twits singled out as an example of the problem with renters. A while back one of the renters in the neighborhood was threatening suicide with a gun. He wandered the neighborhood (which includes a school area) and went home to kill himself. The police were called, the neighborhood was locked down. That “horrible man” went to jail/an institution. I am not saying having armed, emotionally disturbed people wandering around is a good thing BUT being new to the area this twit missed out on a few facts that transients like myself know: 1. That man had lived in that apartment for FAR longer than this stupid woman has lived in the area which meant that 2. Those of us who are not new have been aware of this man for some time. We watched out for him. He is a Vietnam Veteran suffering from extreme PTSD. He would sometimes go off his meds. It was a sad situation so when a neighbor noticed he was off his meds they would notify the local VA who would sort him out. THAT is community. These new people who are decrying a lack of community and are blaming it on renters not only failed the community but are vilifying the poor man. They complain of drug houses on the corner well … 1. The drug house was a single family dwelling and would be unaffected 2. Zoning is not how a community deals with criminals. Dealing drugs is already illegal. They should be arrested not re-zoned 3. We didn’t have drug houses on the corner until this little crew moved in … hmmmmm
Once again their complaint about community comes into play. Looking around the room prior to the meeting my mother, husband and I were greeted with hugs, jokes and requests to see the wedding pictures. We saw former neighbors and had a nice chat. We knew a good 60% of the people there on sight. We didn’t know these twits. They whine about neighborhood stability. Most of the apartments in the neighborhood house one of three types of people 1. Those who choose apartment living or cannot afford to buy a home and remain in their apartments for many years, raising families and growing old. 2. Former home owners from the neighborhood who, due to age and changing finances in their elder years, can no longer care for a house but do not wish to leave the neighborhood. 3. Young couples who can not afford a house right now but are looking to buy that house down the block in a couple of years. They are in the revolving door of new-comers; they are just too new to realize it.

I say to them, You don’t like MY neighborhood? Feel free to leave. We don’t want you here.

CHAIN LETTERS

So to add to yesterday’s excitement I got a real life honest to goodness paper chain letter in the mail. I didn’t think such things still existed! It was like holding a bit of history in my hands. This one is perfectly legal though, it says so right on it! (yeah, right) I reported it to the authorities so hopefully little pensioner grandmas wont get scammed. It was just amazing in this internet age that someone is still sending paper chain letters. My mother asked, “Well, how can you e-mail someone a dollar?” “Pay-pal” I responded.

A Bit about Beheading and Naked Harry Potter

2007-01-31T11:33:00.000-06:00

This was going to be about my new macabre toy but instead it is about Harry Potter or Daniel Radcliffe or both or maybe neither.

For those of you who don’t know Daniel Radcliffe is slated to play Alan Strang in Equus opening in the West End February 16th.

A bit of background because Equus is not the sort of thing covered in Intro to Theatre. Equus is a postmodern discussion of spirituality centered around a young man who loves horses. He doesn’t love them in a bestial way, he worships horses much the way the Egyptians worshiped the ibis or jackal. The boy then blinds his god with an iron spike.

This is heady stuff for Harry Potter. I applaud Daniel Radcliffe as an actor for breaking free of Harry Potter and I applaud whomever it was who chose to cast him. Because Dan Radcliffe is so closely tied with Harry Potter this production of Equus will be disturbing on a level that could not be achieved by any other young actor. No matter how great his performance is (and I am most keen to read reviews) there will be a tiny part of everyone’s brain chanting “Harry Potter is blinding horses! Harry Potter is blinding horses!” I don’t know about you but that idea makes my blood a little cooler.

Meandering my way back to my point (or lack there of) the script calls for an extended nude scene by the actor playing Alan Strang. While it is often performed at least partially clothed this director (Thea Sharrock) chose to make it nude. The poster for the production is stunning and perfect.

My inner theatre nerd was pleased with the choice and the poster seemed to confirm that the right choice was made. But now, now other promotional pictures (If you haven’t seen them here is the link to the official page) are coming out and the part of me that is a huge Harry Potter fan is whimpering in the corner of my mind while the theatre nerd part calls her many unpleasant names. My ITN (Inner Theatre Nerd) sees these pictures and say things like “Stunning” and “Interesting” and asks questions about the horse costumes (all the horses are played by actors in horse costumes), the set design and other production choices. My IHPF (Inner Harry Potter Fan) screams “I can see Harry’s … ummmm …. Harry! No no no no no!” and wont allow my ITN a decent look at the pics.

I wonder if this is related to my IHP’s confusion about Harry’s age. Daniel Radcliffe is 17 years old (he will be just shy of 18 when Equus ends its run), Movie Harry is (in Order of the Phoenix) 15, Book Harry is (in Half-Blood Prince) 16 and ‘Real Life’ Harry would be 26 (if he actually existed).

Maybe the problem isn’t really with my IHPF at all. Maybe it is just with being able to see Daniel Radcliffe as a round headed 11 year old and an overtly sexual teen in the space of a few moments. I am certain that if Alan Strang were being played by almost any other actor I would be able to put on my theatre/art student hat (you know the one, it is what makes it possible to not giggle when the nude model takes off his or her robe or the poet mimics orgasm) and look unabashedly at the art and consider its meaning. As the situation stands I am far too uncomfortable to look. My situation isn’t helped by the news sources stirring up controversy and showing promo pictures for both Equus and Sorcerer’s Stone side by side.

To make all of this even more difficult on my poor little head I was a one of the proponents of young Mister Potter having sex in book 7. This idea is not as creepy as it may at first seem as it is not about voyeurism but rather about growth from child to man and while the HP world is not realistic (sorry kids, magic isn’t real) the emotional development is intended to reflect that of real teens and sex and sexuality are part of that development. Now that I have seen Harry naked I wonder if I am as comfortable with the idea of Harry having sex as I first thought.

Has Equus tainted Harry Potter for me?

Travelers

2007-01-11T11:32:00.000-06:00

I am currently interested in Travelers. Sadly there is very little information to be found about these people that isn’t wildly biased. Like many tightly knit ethnic groups they are not known for being chatty with outsiders about their way of life. I am curious about these modern day nomads because I have no frame of reference for them. Their nomadic behavior is not like that of itinerant laborers who follow the harvest seasons through the country, nor are they like the snow-birds who follow the warm weather. I have read many books that touch on the Travelers and I have seen both fictional and reality based TV programs about them but the picture painted is always skewed (though the books have tended to have a more sympathetic view of the Travelers). They are almost always shown as a roving gang of confidence men and fortune tellers and while I am sure that there is some truth to that (because even in a best case, or worst case depending on your point of view, scenario I challenge anyone to show me a population that is devoid of criminals) I doubt that it is the whole story. The problem with learning about the Travelers is that they are so insular they are harder to infiltrate than the Mafia. My best understanding is that if a Traveler marries outside their ethnic group they must leave the clan. That makes it hard to get an outside perspective on their lifestyle and their tight lipped nature prevents an inside perspective.

American Gods

2007-01-08T14:35:00.000-06:00

I am almost finished reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I wont get too much into the plot because you should read it for yourself, but I will say it is mostly about a war of sorts between the ancient gods brought to America by various settlers (including those who came here over the land bridge during the last ice age) and the modern gods of media and the internet and the like. Though I didn’t know it at the time I bought the book a good third of the novel is set in southern Wisconsin, specifically in places I know and love such as House on the Rock and Culvers. What is not set in Wisconsin is set in places that are the haunts of close friends and family (the Indiana/Kentucky boarder and just outside of Chattanooga Tennessee right on the boarder with Georgia).

While the novel is not overtly difficult it does put me in mind of reading Finnegan’s Wake. Most of the ancient gods are not named, only described (the death of Amaterasu is one instance of this) and there seems to be an assumption that the reader will recognize them and understand their function within their pantheon. My own interest in ancient gods and folklore (to which the person who was reading my copy of The Encyclopedia of Celtic Mythology and Folklore while on the toilet the morning after my wedding can attest) helped immensely and gave me the same smug satisfaction that one gets after reading Finnegan’s Wake and realizing that a good third of it was understood.

One of the tent poles of the story is the idea that in America the people are too far removed from their gods to know the holy places for what they are and so instead of building shrines and temples have built roadside attractions to which pilgrims’ flock, unaware of exactly why they are drawn to these places. While I am overjoyed that House on the Rock was included I do believe that Baraboo should also have been included as a location for the story. As many who know me understand there is very little that I can not turn back around into a discussion of my hometown (since there is very little on earth that I love more than Baraboo and I made my marriage to one of the few greater loves a tribute to the town). It is a conversation I had over Christmas with my Grandmother-in-law that makes me think that Baraboo is one of those unrecognized holy places of America. Judy was asking me why a place like the Al. Ringling Theatre is in Baraboo. The Al Ringling is often considered the first of America’s Palatial Movie Houses designed by Rapp & Rapp. Why can the start of a historically significant architectural* firm be found in a little town north of “Where the North begins”? The answer was, to me, simple. The circus provided the money for the theatre. “And why,” she asked “did the circus start here?” “Because The Ringling Brothers are from Baraboo**. They grew up here.” She pressed on asking, “But why did they start a circus? Did they come from circus people?” “No, they came from immigrants who were small time crooks and moderately sucessful harness makers and leather workers.” “So why did they start a circus?” “Because they saw one as children and decided that the circus is what they should do and be and they made the world’s greatest circus. The Greatest Show on Earth.” That is the magic Neil Gaiman missed in American Gods by not including Baraboo (though others have been drawn to write about Baraboo and its peculier type of mystery. Notably Barry B. Longyear with his books Circus World, City of Baraboo, and Elephant Song). He missed a land so steeped in the bizzar holyness he references in his book that it made seven brothers, the children of immigrant criminals and trades people, into the greatest showmen the world has known.

*This is not the only bit of architectural history to be found in this area. My architectural nemisis Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin and Romeo & Juliet can be found in this area as well.
**A note to detractors: I consider the amount of money the Ringling family poured into Baraboo and the fact that they chose to winter here long after it was a financial necessity as evidence enough that the Ringlings considered Baraboo their hometown

Married

2007-01-04T10:57:00.000-06:00

Not that different than engaged and living together. We miss everyone desperately and have renewed our interest in the machine shop/brew pub/school/farm/furniture restoring commune. It was just too nice to have everyone together again.

Cleaning my old bedroom

2006-12-04T12:39:00.000-06:00

Depending on the number of children in the household, the size of the house itself, frequency of parent re-location, and the neat-freak to sentimental ratio of the parent many people in my (our?) age group are faced with the task clearing out their childhood bedroom. Some of you out there have not had to truly face this yet. You may have grabbed out the occasional loved/needed/all-but-forgotten item over they years but the majority of the detritus of your childhood remains behind. For those of you who have not fully cleared out your childhood bedroom you will be surprised to learn that the earth does not open up and swallow all of your remaining adolescent belongings. The things that ‘went away’ for you some years ago are still sitting under the bed, in the back of the closet, and in shoe boxes on the shelf.

Since I come from a home with a low number of children, a large home, non-existent parent relocation over the past twenty years, and parents who rank high on the sentimental scale and low on the neat-freak scale; clearing out my old bedroom has been low priority since I abandoned it (and its remaining contents) some six or seven years ago. The dregs of my Elementary through High School years have not only remained, gathering dust, but any number of random items have been added. My room became the gathering place for pretty gift boxes too nice to throw away, ugly gifts that you will be asked about the moment you throw them away, old furniture that just needs a bit of something to be serviceable again or that is waiting for a new home elsewhere, and ancient paper work that must be kept just incase of an IRS auditor that wants to reach back thirty years.

When it comes to clearing out this mess you have two important choices: Enlist the help of parents, siblings or your significant other OR sort through everything on your own. For most everyone the choice probably looks obvious, but you will be surprised to learn that the choice you thing is obvious is not the one chosen by all of your peers. Both options have major pit falls.
Enlisting the help of others: Yes, the work load is lightened, but you are forgetting the humiliation factor. I can guarantee that if you have not totally emptied your childhood bedroom there are many items in there that you have forgotten about but would rather never see the light of day. Your mother, father, sister, brother, or significant other WILL find your secret porn stash, your books of angsty poetry or stories, your cds from your brief obsession with Boy-Bands, or the burn in the carpet from when you dropped that illicit High School cigarette. See what I mean? You forgot about those old demons lurking in your old room didn’t you? I can see the fleeting panic in your eyes as you plan on spending your ‘Christmas with the family’ locked in your old bedroom attempting to purge it of these things. Which brings us to…
Sorting through it on your own: Those of you who at first thought that getting help was the way to go have now (unless of course you were A. Some sort of bizarre “perfect” adolescent who has nothing to be embarrassed about left lurking OR B. some sort of bizarre compulsive adolescent who destroyed all such evidence during your formative years) come here to learn the pit falls of sorting through things yourself. The first BIG one is the size of the workload. There is more crap in your old bedroom than you remember. It doesn’t matter how neat or tidy a kid you were there is more stuff in there than you recall ever owning. The next big pit fall is the humiliation factor. “WAIT!” I hear you cry, “The humiliation factor was in Enlisting the help of others.” I am sorry to tell you that even alone you experience the humiliation factor. Adolescent you is there looking out from your twenty something eyes and is mortified beyond all reckoning. If you have lived your life with any kind of decency you have grown into just the kind of person your adolescent self admired (either openly or secretly), and seeing such an impressive and cool adult find, mock, destroy, and/or throw away all of those dreadfully important things (such as your secret porn stash, your books of angsty poetry or stories, your cds from your brief obsession with Boy-Bands, or the burn in the carpet from when you dropped that illicit High School cigarette) is awful.

Now there are those of you thinking that avoiding this little trip down memory lane is the way to go. Don’t wait too long! If you wait too long one of two things will happen. One or both of your parents will retire and decided to clear out the house. They will find these things and, depending on the sort of item it is, they will DISPLAY some of them. You don’t want THAT do you? The other option is far more horrifying. Your old bedroom will continue to gather dust and random items for many more years and then your CHILDREN WILL FIND THEM. They will find them and they will use them against you in arguments.

So get cleaning!

STRESS

2006-11-27T13:49:00.000-06:00

I took an online stress test because I am feeling a bit stressed lately. Thinking back on this year I thought I might want to assess my stress level.

The scores break down like this:
Less than 150
Your score indicates that you have experienced low levels of stress in the past twelve months. Based on this assessment, your ability to cope with and manage future stress is very good.
You probably have low to low to average levels of personal stress at present.

150-199
Your score indicates that you have experienced low to moderate levels of stress in the past twelve months. Based on this assessment, your ability to cope and manage future stress is good.
You probably have average to moderate levels of personal stress at present.

200-299
Your score indicates that you have experienced high to very high levels of stress in the past twelve months. Based on this assessment, your ability to cope and manage future stress is low.
You probably have moderate to very high levels of personal stress at present.

300+
Your score indicates that you have experienced very high to extremely high levels of stress in the past twelve months. Based on this assessment, your ability to cope and manage future stress is dangerously low.
If this score is an accurate representation of your life experiences, we strongly urge you to seek professional advice about your ability to cope with any future stress challenges.
You probably have very high to extremely high levels of personal stress at present. Please take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally until you seek professional advice about your current stress levels and your ability to cope with future stress.

My score? 649 So bring on the men in white coats and the padded room!

So depressing

2006-11-08T08:19:00.000-06:00

Election 2006 is over and with the exception of the opinion poll on Capital Punishment (and being an opinion poll has little to no effect on Wisconsin) no vote went my way.
It is enough to make a girl want to pull up stakes (again) and move. The Marriage Amendment passed. I honestly thought that there were enough people in Wisconsin who, even if they believe homosexuality is a sin, believe that the greatest sin is letting the Government into the bedroom. What frustrates me the most is that even without the amendment Wisconsin wasn't anywhere near legalizing same sex unions ... voting No would mean ... nothing ... no change.

Again and again I come back to two thoughts on same sex unions. The first is What makes some of the people in traditional marriage so afraid of same sex unions? I don't understand. How do same sex marriages "weaken" traditional marriages? Doesn't the climbing divorce rate hgave a far more adverse impact traditional marriage?

The second thought is actually rather funny. Many moons ago I was having a debate with a young woman about this issue. One of her major points for why same sex unions shouldn't be legal was that she believed it would end the propagation of the species. Why? Because "What woman would marry a man if she could have all the same bennifits of marriage in a union with a woman?" Huh. I wonder if her now husband knows she is a closeted lesbian?

This is awsome

2006-10-24T13:43:00.000-05:00

The One Second Film. The profits go to the Global Fund for Women. Just goes to show that not EVERYONE at CalArts is a freako, asshole, schmuck.

and you are over it.

2006-10-18T11:50:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't posted in a while. I do not apologize.

Anywho, today I had the most appalling job interview of my LIFE. I have had this recruiter calling me regarding a job. So I agree to go for an interview, it is an LTE position (which I have done before). The recruiter describes it to me as some clerical/reception stuff, calendar organization, and payroll entry. All stuff I have plenty of experience with. I tell the recruiter that I am looking for something in BARABOO. That I cannot leave Baraboo (Due to the driving thing). The recruiter says it is not a problem the job is for the Baraboo office. It is office work. Great! So I go there and they give me another job description. Not like another copy of the one the recruiter e-mailed me (yes, I did have the job description the recruiter sent me in my purse)they gave me a TOTALLY DIFFERENT job description. No, they did not confuse me for an applicant for a different job. They were expecting me and this info had my name on it. I read the new job description, tasks outlined in it are things like reviewing Union contracts, handling all of payroll, overseeing Safety and Risk Management training and IT work. All for $15 an hour. At this point I am already thinking "Ummmmm nooooooooo." They they take me into the interview room. There is half eaten food on the table along with other trash. The food does not belong to any of the interviewers (even if it did who eats during an interview!?) We begin the interview and I find out that the job requires that you travel to offices all over the region. Why? Because the previously described tasks are not limited to the Baraboo office I would have to do these things (and two pages worth of others) for multiple offices. For $15 an hour, no benefits, no paid leave. Even if I did drive, no car is provided for all of this travel. So I told them I don't drive, told them I had specifically told this to the recruiter and said "Oh gosh I understand that you can no longer consider me as an applicant. Sorry." and booked it out of there. WOW could they have their shit LESS together?!

Stupid Media

2006-09-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

Headline J.K. Rowling challenges airport security
It makes it sound as if she protested increased airport security. No, in fact books, paper and rubber bands are not on the definitively banned list. They are items that it is up to individual checkers to determine if they can be taken as carry-on. I honestly find it more likely that the airport checker wanted a chance to get book 7 away from JKR than any concern for security.

That is just rude

2006-09-12T14:19:00.000-05:00

What bothered me about the President's 9/11 Anniversary Speech was not when he spent most of his time talking about Iraq, despite repeated Whitehouse claims that there is no attempt being made to connect 9/11 and U.S. Military presence in Iraq. My biggest issue is that the broadcast wasn't scheduled in the T.V. listings. He interrupted regularly scheduled programming with a speech that the Whitehouse knew (or should have known) he was making months in advance. I am not saying "How dare the George Bush interrupt 'Two and a half Men'!" I am asking why this time wasn't properly blocked off? I would expect to see "President's 9/11 Anniversary Speech" listed the same way I expect to see "State of the Union Address" every January. This wasn't an unplanned address regarding a new national threat. This was a prepared and planned event. I guess I expect a bit more courtesy from the President. He is the President and so he has the power to take over the airwaves pretty much whenever he damn well pleases but I see it as the difference between a friend calling to say "I am coming over. I need to tell you something" and that same person just showing up on your door step. Either way no choice is being given to the person being visited, but it is nice to have a little warning.

Its a RIOT!

2006-09-08T11:39:00.000-05:00

So once again UW Madison is attempting a half-assed solution to a larger problem Halloween on State Street is being re-named FreakFest on State Street. I am sure the new name will end the years of booze fueled violence that make Devil’s Night in Detroit look like a Kindergartener’s slumber party. The city, paranoid after years of riots, tends to break out the tear gas a little early while the students of Playboy’s no.1 ranked party school are more than a little wild. The two factions feed off each other and every year the “party” grows out of control. Add to this the recent escalating violence on King Street (which is right across the Capital Square from State Street) and This year looks like it will be the worst ever for tragedy. That is O.K. though … the party has been re-named and they are considering a $5 cover charge. I am sure that if it costs $5 to get in everyone will be happy to drink non-alcoholic cider and bob for apples.

Little Miss Sunshine

2006-09-07T16:30:00.000-05:00

Saw Little Miss Sunshine this past weekend. I was especially impressed with Paul Dano who I thought had a wonderful and convincing character arc despite spending over half the movie completely silent. Wonderful.

Who is John Galt?

2006-09-07T16:27:00.000-05:00

This editorial is exactly why I defend Ayn Rand. The entire editorial is based on the premise that altruism is worthless unless it is for the “right reason.” Students volunteering because they think it will help them gain admission to the school of their choice is bad. Why? Because they are seeking a reward for their efforts (never mind that there is no guarantee of such a reward and any student that is packing their college resume should be savvy enough to know that such a reward is not guaranteed). Why is hoping to be rewarded for their work bad? Because it “[leaches] their innate humanity”
The author rails against “our increasingly competitive society and the commercialization of the college culture that perpetrates the harmful myth that only a few of the college "brands" are "the best." Sighting this as the reason why students are not volunteering for the “right” reason. To want something beyond a warm fuzzy feeling from volunteer work is wrong. Ms. Seal’s only explanation for why this is wrong seems to be the assumption that individuals who expect to be rewarded for work are bad people. She never clearly explains (at least to my misanthropic mind) why she believes that wanting to be indirectly rewarded for “good deeds” is bad. It is assumed that any reader will understand that students who volunteer because they hope it will help them get into the school of their choice are morally bankrupt and this behavior should be stopped. It is never posited that those students who engage in application padding are doing any kind of disservice to those they are working with. At no time does she suggest that the elderly people visited by those students who are volunteering because they think it looks good on a resume are 18% more lonely than those visited by an impassioned volunteer. Instead she points to a study that shows that people being directly rewarded for performing a pleasurable task are less likely to continue the task for an extended period of time*. The relationship between this study and her point is a stretch at best. So once again we are back to the concept that volunteering for the “wrong” reason is bad because it is wrong.
O.K. I am going to recap because I want to be clear in my own mind. Ms. Seal is arguing that students are volunteering for the “wrong” reasons. Why? Because the “right” reasons are undervalued by society. Helping others should be its own reward and hoping to be rewarded in any other way is wrong. I am sorry but I am confused as to why the only “good” good works must be done without hope for greater reward? I don’t understand why a motivation (I say “a motivation” because no matter how good it looks on a college application no one I have ever known has ever volunteered for work they abhor doing. Students who hate the elderly do not volunteer at nursing homes, they find other volunteer opportunities.) invalidates the good work.

The capper to all of this stupid blather is that Ms. Seal, who has spent 2/3 of the article decrying the idea that college applications are at all a factor in when/if/how students volunteer wraps up her argument by saying “Admissions committees can tell the difference between a student who pursues activities to "look good" and one who is truly interested, curious and otherwise self-motivated, says Bruce Poch, vice president and dean of admissions at Pomona College in Claremont, Calif. A kind of Botox-freeze glazes the faces of the "packaged" kid, he explains, but the engaged student radiates excitement and connection to the greater world around her. When kids aren't gaming the system, their personal statements will match the picture painted by counselors and teachers.
"Go find something you want to do," Poch advises high school students. "Find what you like, and then you can tell me about that." If kids try community service and like it, they should follow their inner passion. That's the kind of student, says Poch, that college professors want to teach.” Essentially she ends by saying that application padding doesn’t work anyway and students should not volunteer unless they are passionate about volunteer work because it doesn’t help their college applications. Perhaps I am just a befuddled person but for me this negates all earlier statements about not letting college applications factor into the decision to volunteer. She moans that “Among many middle-class families, this college admissions pressure is creating a bizarre outlook that harms our children.” Only to end with the assertion that the behavior she is complaining about is useless and will not help in the all important college admissions process.
Finally to try to tie this all back around to my initial statement “This is why I defend Ayn Rand.” As I read this editorial I couldn’t stop thinking about the villains of Atlas Shrugged, most specifically James Taggart who is constantly reviling his sister for not helping people for the “right” reasons. She only helps, works, does anything because she hopes for either direct or indirect greater reward for her assistance.

*BTW anyone who can find me the info on this study that shows how it was determined that the puzzles in question were pleasurable and how they got around the issue that the puzzles are a Spatial Relationship problem while the other option was reading, which involve very different parts of the brain and how the percentage of individuals who enjoy Spatial Relationship problems vs. reading was figured in and how they allowed for the difference in the study blah blah blah… gets a free sticker!

Smok 'em while you've got 'em

2006-08-09T13:33:00.000-05:00

So, I am getting all feisty about the smoking laws. Why? Well there is a new study on the topic of 3rd hand smoke. That is right. Because I smoke and y’all know me you are going to get cancer. The basic argument seems to be that by being a smoker, even if I restrict my smoking to my own home and designated smoking areas, I am infringing on the rights of non-smokers. If they sit in a chair I sat in they will get cancer and die. The seeming argument is that everyone has the right to never be exposed to anything potentially harmful. I am so ticked off by people who spout nonsense like “I could go on and on but most of the replies you will get will have to do with the fact of invading a persons privacy and such. But I think when that persons is posing a health risk to another, invade away!!!”
… I wish I could continue with this but I am so irritated I can’t think straight. “Invade away!!!” Why it is that NO ONE who spouts that kind of drivel can understand why I then suggest that we muzzle their shrieking brats because Little Johnny’s yowls are 110 decibels (loud enough to cause hearing damage in less than a minute and a half) I will never understand.

Things I am sure that everyone who is not me learned of and got over long ago.

2006-08-08T10:58:00.000-05:00

Shipping Container Housing. Awsome? I think YES! Now, I am not a bleeding heart, "Save our Mother Earth!" hippy ... but I don't HATE the planet either. I think these buildings look really cool, they are cheap and recycling is a bonus.

Next, I saw OK Go's new video this am. I can't tell you a blessed thing about the actual song ... but it is the BEST USE OF TREDMILLS EVER.

href="http://www.myspace.com/okgo">OK Go href="http://youtube.com/group/okgodance"> - "Here It Goes Again" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pv5zWaTEVkI">height="256">
Buy OK Go - Oh No at iTunes.

ALSO

2006-07-31T15:28:00.000-05:00

I was reading through some old blog debates I have had ... DAMN! I sounded smart. I miss it. I don't deal with enough abstract concepts. I think I am growing less intelligent with each passing day. I know this is common after college ... when the focus of your life shifts from disecting abstracts and the grand questions and becomes (almost without variation) about concrete issues such as "What is for dinner?" "The Cell Phone Bill is due." and discussions of "Where is the 'X'?" "I don't know. I thought you had it last."
Too much coffee today is making it hard to focus on projects and is also making me a little ill ... two GIANT mugs of coffee and one meal makes for a sad tummy.

OUCH!

2006-07-31T14:28:00.000-05:00

"Sorry, user cryptic_candor does not list you as a friend, and they've set the "friends only" option for who can reply to their journal."

Well I guess that opens up a couple of places at the wedding.

O.K. I admit that I had a guess that cryptic_candor was the one who posted the following on the Halfway House 'Blog (though I could be wrong):
"Anonymous said...
Beating animals to make them run around a track. Wow, so that is the sport of kings?"

and even with my guess about who it was I responded:
"TheAmber said...
Anon. Yes, that is the Sport of Kings. If you want to debate with me about it grow a pair and leave your name bitch. DON'T just leave disparaging ANONYMOUS comments."

I admit, I stopped commenting. But that was due to 2 factors. One of which those of you who need to know ... Already know ... and two Ms.Candor and I have vastly divergent philosophical views. Rather than fighting I chose to keep quiet (after the meat debate went so awry)

Maybe I am over reacting ... I don't know.

American Dreamz

2006-04-30T19:56:00.000-05:00

American Dreamz is HILARIOUS! Also Mandy Moore doesn't get enough credit for playing a wonderful conniving bitch. Right up there with SAVED!

To Miss Diana

2006-04-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

I wish my life were the lovey utopia you think it is ... when I am with Lee it IS that way ... but the rest is a massive pile of bullshit ... I can't get into it just work stress... but it makes the waking time I have with Lee precious beyond measure ... not that I don't love my readers but I wont talk about work and my life right now is divided into 3 parts Work, Trying to forget about work by watching tv and snuggling with Lee, and Sleep. I do very little else and I don't have time to socialize.

Now for everyone
Any suggestions to add to our wedding playlist?

In no particular order...

-The Beatles, Baby You're a Rich Man
-Oasis, I Want to Talk Tonight
-Hollies, Long Cool Woman (In a black dress)
-T-Rex, Bang a Gong (Get it on)
-The Beatles, All You Need is Love
-Billy Joel, Only the Good Die Young
-Bob Seger, Night Moves
-Beach Boys, God Only Knows
-Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here
-Van Morrison, Brown Eyed Girl
-Sam and Dave, Hold On, I'm Comin
-Van Halen, Panama
-Procol Harum, Whiter Shade of Pale
-Ryan Adams, My Sweet Carolina <---Ryan should play this
-Broken Social Scene, Stars and Sons
-The Beatles, A Day in the Life
-Joe Cocker, She Came in through the Bathroom Window
-Joe Cocker, Feelin' Alright
-George Michael, I Want Your Sex
-Grateful Dead, A Friend of the Devil is a Friend of Mine
-Poison, Nothin' but a Good Time
-Traffic, Dear Mr. Fantasy
-Mr. Big, To Be With You
-Ryan Adams, Come Pick Me Up
-Paul Simon, Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
-The Band, The Weight
-Paul Simon, Kodachrome
-Bryan Adams, Summer of '69
-Rufus Wainwright, Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk
-Ryan Adams, To Be Young (Is To Be Sad)
-George Harrison, Dream Away
-R.E.M., It's The End of the World as We Know It (I feel fine)

2006-03-31T08:00:00.000-06:00

So I am too tired to really focus on my work. Why? Because I didn't go to bed until 12:30 AM. That's me! Wild party animal! So this weekend the plan is to drink with Harvy, go hat shopping and see a play. I am excited about The Scene because it is by the creater of Omnium Gatherum. Nice.

I am tired

2006-03-06T14:43:00.000-06:00

I have gone in to work for at least an hour (usually more like 10 hours) since Feb 20th. As some of you may realize ... that date is almost two weeks after my gradfather died. I just learned last night that my other grandfather died in 2004. I could really use a weekend. Too bad it is Monday. Too bad I have to work this Saturday. I'm going to go smoke.

My Grandfather Died.

2006-02-07T13:40:00.000-06:00

Not that it explains all of my recent absence from the net but it does explain most of it ….

So there was the usual and necessary gnashing of teeth, crying, moaning, and flying to New England to do all of the above (and drink) with relatives I haven’t seen in 10 years.
After all of that it was my birthday (25) and now I am starting to get my feet back under me.

On the planes I thought of many stories to share with all of you, but now I don’t feel like telling them, or I have forgotten them, at any rate you won’t be hearing them.

I have an office now (that I am sharing with Laine for the time being) and a computer and I am starting my own set of files. Fun Fun!

Recent conversation from the "Hobit Hole*"

2006-01-22T16:27:00.000-06:00

*Hobit Hole being Lee's Mom's nickname for our apartment

L: What things do you need washed right away?
A: You mean you are going to dig through the laundry I have sorted by color and dump it into one load?
L: How about I pull out what I need and you pull out what you need?
A: You mean you are going to dig through the laundry I have sorted by color and dump it into one load?
L:Yes, but my clothes don't need to be sorted by color.
A: ALL clothes need to be sorted by color, you big ... GUY.
L: What the hell does that mean? You say 'guy' like it is a bad thing. 'You have a penis therefor you are an idiot.'
A: Apparently having a penis means you don't know how to do laundry.

A little sad

2006-01-02T06:16:00.000-06:00

It is exciting and scary and a little sad. Shortly I will no longer be a WI resident. Shortly I will be a married woman but for a legal document and a party. Amazing.

My days and nights

2005-12-29T18:35:00.000-06:00

Lately I have been chillin' over at IMDb, getting into dust ups with the locals on the boards and just in general causing internet trouble over non-existent people, places and things. My Christmas was good, quiet, filled with games. I have been playing origional Sims with the Makin' Magic expansion pack ... I have yet to buy, make, earn or steal all of the ingredients I need to make all of the spells, even with my classic, Amber style sweat shop running full force. ("GOD DAMN YOU! I don't CARE if you are tired you are going to harvest that bees wax! and YOU! Spin some more fucking golden thread. SHUT UP! Do as I tell you or I will turn off free will!")

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T00:50:00.000-06:00

So I was doin' this thing...

2005-12-22T13:25:00.000-06:00

and I amused myself greatly so here you go the question and my answer...

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I would like to think I would be royal blue with sparkles ... But lets face it I would probably be that weird green that almost looks like a heather green and it looks kinda neat but you wonder what you would ever use it for and then the dog eats it and his poo comes out green and your dad can’t see it in the yard because it is green and he steps in it when he is mowing the lawn and you get in trouble for leaving your crayons where the dog could get them ... And then you realize that if your dad couldn’t see it in the yard you probably should have been using it to color grass.

YEAR IN REVIEW!!!

2005-12-21T10:52:00.000-06:00

Shamelessly stolen from the Doc.

January 2005~ Depression about my joblessness, Anger about being screwed over by supposed "friends", and Lee (including promises not to get married any time soon, which I have kept if a wedding date just under two years after the promise was made counts as "no time soon")

February 2005~ Lee and relationship fears and joys and the great Birth control debate

March 2005~ The Birth Control debate rages on

April 2005~ Still jobless and stressed

May 2005~ Angry again about supposed "friends" (a different set this time) being assholes

June 2005~ The Pizza Waitress era. And Beer reviews

July 2005~ Books, HP6 and A Very Long Engagement. The London Bombings

August 2005~ The engagement (mine this time) anonymous comments and games.

September 2005~ Quit my job at the pizza place, Movie reviews, Banned Books debate, and Hurricane Kat reflections

October 2005~ A very random conglomeration of thoughts, no theme

November 2005~ The poorly received reformatting and job stress

December 2005~ Job stress, irritation and the quiet life.

Upon re-reading I do like most of what I put out there ... though my proofing skills need improving.

Last night I had a dream.

2005-12-21T09:52:00.000-06:00

I was in school, between ten and thirteen years old. Treat Williams was my teacher. I raised my hand to answer a question but every time I went to speak this really bitchy girl in front of me (who I did go to school with in reality) would start talking over me. She wasn't saying anything important ... just Ralphie sort of babble ("my cat's breath smells like cat food" kind of stuff). I tried answering many times but each time I tried to conduct classroom business (like answering questions) she would start talking. Treat Williams did nothing about it. He behaved as though it was MY fault she was talking and I got in trouble for not making myself heard over her. I threatened her and it did no good. Finally I slapped her. I was surprised at the force I was able to muster while sitting in a desk. My slap left a large, red, welt across her cheek. She didn't seem very hurt. Her only reaction was that she finally shut up, but I instantly knew I was in deep doo-doo. Treat Williams was less than pleased.
When I was a young school girl misbehavior in school was recorded on the chalk board. The first time you were bad your name went on the board. The second time you were bad you got a check mark next to your name, the third time your name was circled and something REALLY bad happened. (I can't say what the really bad thing is, I don't recall ever getting past the check mark stage with any sane teacher, and the insane teacher made kids eat soap.)
In dream land the progression of misbehavior was recorded by Mr. Williams going to the board and drawing a beautiful scene descriptive of the life cycle of White Tailed Deer. I had been so bad when I struck the other girl that he drew the deer from fawn to stag and then filled the woods with hunters taking aim at the deer herd.
He went into a science lesson about the speed of bullets and the heat of lasers when he suddenly stopped next to my desk. He removed his shoes and began using his feet to riffle through my books. Using his toes he held up a brown paper bag filled with some sort of chunky red goo. "Oh god! It stinks so much I wont even touch it with my hands!" The contents of the bag had once been my lunch, now rotted beyond recognition. I took the bag from him, went outside and threw it in the dumpster.
The alarm went off.

I think the strangest thing about the dream is the effect it had on me upon waking. I had been fretting recently about times in the past when I have behaved in a less than exemplary manner. Nothing so terrible, I just sometimes get into a funk thinking about all the times and all the little ways I have been either intentionally or accidentally unkind to others. I woke from the dream and I felt better about it, all of it. I was able to internalize "water under the bridge" quite a bit better. Perhaps the rotten lunch was the foul guilt I have carried with me for years (sometimes many years ... I still think about hurtful things I said almost twenty years ago.) and now I was finally able to discard it? I don't know, but I do feel better.

Happy Winter Solstice Everyone!

2005-12-21T09:05:00.000-06:00

And if you are a S.A.D. sufferer, welcome to Hell.

New to Keenspot

2005-12-20T13:58:00.000-06:00

CANDI ... like CRFH!!! without the devil worship and tentacles and werecoyote roommates. A realistic CRFH!!! if you will.

Merry FUCKIN' Christmas!

2005-12-16T15:22:00.000-06:00

HO FUCKIN'HO

I am in a holding pattern on my projects. No one is posting because it is UNIVERSAL OFFICE HOLLIDAY PARTY Day ... speaking of which ... the craptacular party happens tonight. At least it will be over soon. I should be done with it FOREVER in about 6 hours. Dare to dream.

Horrific

2005-12-15T16:22:00.000-06:00

Yes, horrific

Unreasonable glee and spleen venting.

2005-12-09T11:05:00.000-06:00

Of late I am highly irritated with coworkers. Some of them seem hell bent on fucking up my shit. BUT, for reasons totally unfathomable to me, my response has been to be outrageously happy. I sing songs (I grant you, the songs are often about self-immolation), I do crazy dances, I murmur to myself about how much I enjoy monkeys, I sporadically blurt fragments of holiday songs ... I have even attempted to take out my irritation at coworkers on unsuspecting idjits on various message boards and 'blogs but instead of getting worked up into a good foamy lather, as often as not I ignore their stupidity or wish them happy holidays.

You were losers then you are losers now

2005-12-07T15:27:00.001-06:00

If the most important thing your club ever did in 60+ years of existence was socilitate [sic] a mural. Face it. Your club sucks.

Then I watched TV...

2005-12-07T10:51:00.000-06:00

Lately my dreams have been really lame. I used to have fun dreams. They had interesting plots or were crazy out-there trippy. I had murder mystery dreams, adventures, love stories, drama, intrigue... My dreams were always fascinating (at least to me) and I would replay what I could remember of them in my head all day when I got bored. Better than TV. I would patch and build on my dream plots until I had an interesting story with a nice even flow. It was wonderful and a large part of the reason I have always been happy just to sit quietly and do 'nothing.'

Last night I had what is probably the most exciting dream I have had in a long time. I dreamt that I went to work and as I was taking off my Pea coat I reached in my pocket and found enough change to buy a bag of chips from the vending machine. I bought the chips. They were original Lays.

Also, probably as an outgrowth of the whole nihilistic, fatalistic, overworked, end of the semester attitude that seems to be hip with the kids today I am having trouble resisting the urge to be mean. I as I was reading poor Ryan's 'blog I saw "5. Only October (song about leaving the ones you love. Past: Grandfather died Present: Away from my immediate family; Future: missing wife and kids)" Now, PLEASE understand I love Ryan's music. This song will probably even make me cry. But there is a warped and rather cruel part of me that wants to respond, "Missing your future wife and kids? Who says you will have any? You might just die alone. Totally alone." Rather mean, no? I don't really doubt that Ryan will have a lovely (if diminutive) family someday. I just had this almost overwhelming urge to be a jerk. Hmm now Jewish Mother is kicking in and I am trying to think of lovely young ladies I could set him up with.

Christmas shopping is (thankfully) done. All I have left is the wrapping and shipping. HURRAH!

People Irritate

2005-12-06T15:22:00.000-06:00

People who condemn Harry Potter for leading all the little children to Devil Worship but LOVE the Lord of the Rings and Narnia series are just plain dumb. Sorry people but your argument against HP went out the window when you said LOTR and Narnia are O.K. Shall we compare them?
Narnia LOTR HP
X X X Magic used by "the good guys"
X X X Magic used by "the bad guys"
X X X Christian Author
X X X can be read as Christian allegory
X X X doesn't HAVE to be read as Christian allegory

HELL! It is looking more every day like Harry will give up his life to save the world .... wonder where I heard a story like THAT before....

2005-12-06T13:14:00.000-06:00

Things I want to do before my wedding

Finish planning my wedding (this one seems pretty important)

Grow HEALTHY hair just over shoulder length long

Grow HEALTHY nails 1/8" past my finger tips on all fingers

Lose 50 lbs.

Things to do before I move

Finish Packing

Fill out change of address forms

Organize the move dates and move crew

Things to do before Christmas

Wrap and ship all Christmas gifts.

Plan and host stupid Holiday party that no one wants to go to.

Wrap up my work projects

Things to do before the end of the day

Finish half the pile of paperwork waiting to be processed.

Things that make me crazy
Coworkers who feel the need to stomp everywhere. No, you are not impressive you just startle me. Stop it.

Question

Does anyone know the title of Amy Jokinen's movie?

WTF

2005-12-01T14:49:00.000-06:00

So I am checking my email and Yahoo is all "Wondering about this weird blank spot? Well create your Avatar!" So I am all "O.k. then. Perhaps fun will ensue" and I made this:

Can anyone tell me what the FUCK this thing DOES? When I was on the Avatar building thing I saw a thing that said Message Boards, so I was thinking maybe some lame Sims Online wanna be thing/ NO! The Message boards are for talking ABOUT your Avatar. So I was then thinking O.K. well what the hell is the point? It seems to be just a fucking digital paper doll. And the blinking is REALLY fucking annoying when I am checking my mail. .... I wonder if you can murder avatars like you do Sims .... BITCH WILL DIE!

You will have fun or I'll cut you! I swear to GOD! or Things that make my eye twitch

2005-12-01T09:51:00.000-06:00

So. My job. Part if it is I am in charge of planning a party for which there is no money, I never wanted to plan, no one wants to attend and none of the invitees like each other. Surprisingly enough it is not going well. No one is RSVPing. What? Cancel the party? No can do. The restaurant is already reserved. It would cost more money than we have to cancel the party. Why are we having such an unpopular party? I have NO idea. . I was told I was told "The invitees will probably all respond the week of the party." No good. The restaurant needs our numbers the week BEFORE the party. If they respond the week OF the party I have to tell them that they can't come... Stress and dry, inside, winter air is giving me mini-nosebleeds. Do you know what I am talking about? No blood comes OUT your nose it all just mixes with goobers and crusts up in there until when you blow your noes it looks like you were recently punched in the face.
The coffee maker is empty. The stupid woman who is doing the mail today is ... well, stupid. The Packers are 2-9 with Farvre the interception machine. I am getting married in 13 months and still have no real idea what I want my dress to look like. I am moving in a month and still haven't really packed. Recent days have found me unable to find that sweet spot between too much sleep and not enough. Insomnia. Once upon a time I was able to happily fill long work hours telling myself little stories (of romance, intrigue and survival) my imagination seems to have abandoned me so now when I key in info at work all I think about is the info I am keying in. I shouldn't eat my favorite foods for a while, but that is probably a good thing since I am ready to staple a "Wide Load" sign to my ass. My rant feels insipid and angst ridden. I don't even feel like arguing with idiots anymore.

And THAT is why I have a tick in my left eye.

You will have fun or I'll cut you! I swear to GOD!

THINGS THAT ARE NOT SWEET

2005-11-29T18:20:00.000-06:00

Gallstones

Sigh

2005-11-28T13:34:00.000-06:00

O.K. I think I need to quit my Theatre Tech Yahoo Group. The questions are either WAY outta my league with answers that involve doing (what sound to me to be) stupid/dangerous/damaging things to expensive equipment OR the questions are so dumb I just want to spit in their hair! (Is there any reason why I should use plywood instead of MDF for a large structural set piece?) The newest one: How can I make an anvil that must be dropped on someone's head? I am sure that all of you out there can give me a good answer to that one.

SWEET and SOUR

2005-11-28T10:54:00.000-06:00

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET
Lingerie Models in store windows. Perhaps as an aside to "Mannequin's I've known" they could be "Mannequin's I wish I knew?"

now for the sour
Noriyuki "Pat" Morita died on Thanksgiving. You might know him better as Mr. Kesuke Miyagi from The Karate Kid movies

I have been kicking some thoughts around but am currently too exhausted from a holiday weekend spent sicky and a sleepless night to share.

HP & the GoF

2005-11-21T12:02:00.000-06:00

O.K. I saw GoF the opening day and WOW, it is the best HP movie yet. I am really pleased that the movies just keep getting better. That said, GoF fully earns its PG-13 rating. Some movies like Big Fish (rated PG-13 for violence, some images of nudity, sexual references), Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and the Lord of the Rings movies (all rated PG-13 for epic battle sequences and some scary images) get a PG-13 rating yet I would have no qualms about taking a much younger child to see any of these movies. GoF though, is dark. VERY DARK. It can be disturbing at points (as I left the theatre I saw a kid about 7 actually shaking as he walked out) and while GoF can be very funny at points (thank GOD! Otherwise it would be too dark even for me) the humor is mostly sexual. Now, don't confuse the preceding statement for my suggesting that small children shouldn't know anything about sex, rather I think that the sexual humor would go over the head of the average kid under 10. If the humor is confusing the child is left with a movie that is mostly scary only to be broken up occasionally by the confusing. Not a happy time for a little kid. So, 13 or older run out and see it, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

Brazil serving school children coffee with breakfast. Lucky Brazilian children can get the liquid of life with their free school breakfast. Is it too late for me to go to elementary school in Brazil?

HARRY POTTER DAY!

2005-11-18T09:28:00.000-06:00

IT IS ALSO MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

2005-11-17T15:17:00.000-06:00

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. I will never foget the first time I bit into "Vomit" and "Earthworm" is just as ... striking a flavor.

2005-11-16T09:43:00.000-06:00

So last night as I listened I choked back laughter, because no one that stressed needs to be laughed at. I couldn't help but smile though as I remembered days and nights when I screamed and cried almost the exact same words into the phone or to a friend or both. "I challenge you to find anyone who has never been sweating bullets about classes and graduating."

I now realize I would kill for some of that time, even the bad time, back. My life has taken a definite turn for the mundane. Work, eat, sleep. Over and over till the weekend when it is sleep, eat, sleep. How did it become that snow and a screwed up conference call became the most interesting things in my day? It is hard to admit that my "scrabble in a blackout" days are over.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET
A new obessesion taken from Pearlman. Toothpaste for Dinner

Shamelessly stolen

2005-11-14T13:57:00.000-06:00

From Pete Krupa is this Comic Book, "Daddy Kills Animals" Normally I would blow it off as extremism and move on with my life, but I want to draw everyone's attention to the lower right corner of the second page. Yes, you are reading it correctly, it says for children to keep their pets away from their fathers because their fathers might kill their pets at anytime just for fun.

I see stuff like this and I wish I had kids, so I could sue PETA's ass for traumatizing my children.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET
Web sites devoted to useless info, including a large section on Mike the Headless Chicken are SWEET.

TIME

2005-11-11T10:11:00.000-06:00

Maybe this is just me but time is REALLY annoying. I mean the rate at which it seems to pass. I am not just talking about the way time seems to crawl when you are waiting for a much anticipated event or speeds along when you are dreading something.
This morning when I woke up time seemed to be moving very slowly for me. Nice when you want to enjoy another punch of the snooze button or sip your coffee and watch the morning news, but problematic when you are trying to get through the work day. The weird thing about this is some days just seem to go by faster or slower than others and I don't know why. It seems totally unrelated to how busy I am, some busy days speed by while others creep and the same with slow days. I wish I knew what made this happen so I could control it and make crappy days end faster and make the good days seem to last forever.

Has anyone else experienced this?

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

Species of Lemur named after John Cleese. When I saw this I could barely speak.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

2005-11-10T11:54:00.000-06:00

Hillsdale, MI in the news.

"I'm trying to set up a board of advisers" that will include a former mayor and leaders from Hillsdale College, which he hopes to attend next fall.

WOW the big muckety mucks at Hillsdale College must be shitting themselves. Mostly with joy, but with a little fear too.

I mean having the Mayor of Hillsdale Attending the school while in office has great potential to be a boon for the college. BUT as a student at Hillsdale the newly elected mayor will have a different perspective on the relationship between the college and the town. Most HC students and graduates I know take issue with the college's policy toward the town, and they don't have the kind of long term vested interest in the Town of Hillsdale that the mayor should.

Hee hee. What if he falls in with a "bad crowd" possibly one that, mayhaps thinks that the College's wicked, usurping reign over the town should end? Or worse yet (for the citizens of Hillsdale), actually falls in with a bad crowd?*

* I am actually not claiming that any of the individuals involved with any of the above links have ever offered opinions to me about anything. Ever. I am simply taking a guess at what I believe might be their positions on HC policy toward the town of Hillsdale. I could be wrong.

Stupid questions, glue fettish and squirrel poo

2005-11-09T10:55:00.000-06:00

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? My chin zits

2. How much cash do you have on you? None, I use my debit card for EVERYTHING

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Best

4. Favorite plant? my little spider plant in my kitchen

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? I don't have a cell right now.

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? I don't have a cell right now.

7. What shirt are you wearing? A brown sleaveless sweater shell and a teal w/ brown trim sweater

8. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing. I forget, but they are really cute brown kitten heeled pumps with baby pink stitching

9. Bright or Dark Room? Bright, fluorescent-light

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I stole this from Carrie. A good friend of mine from H.S. and before.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night? Talking to Lee.

12. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? I don't have a cell right now.

13. What's a saying that you say a lot? I have a bunch, Sweet action springs first to mind.

14. Who told you they loved you last? Lee.
15. Last furry thing you touched? Sir Dudley Marjoriebanks First Lord of Tweedymouth of Marshall Mannor

16. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? totally unknown probably dozens

17. Favorite age you have been so far? 21-22, my SR year of College. That was pretty good.

18. Your worst enemy? Unknown.

19. What is your current desktop picture? Lee at Halloween

20. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Ha Ha I don't give it back"

21. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? Money. I stand firmly by the idea that your mistakes and regrets make you who you are.

22. The last song you listened to? Unknown. I don't listen to music much.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET UPDATE

So those of you who read the November 4th THINGS THAT ARE SWEET will remember the guy who is suing Home Depot over having his ass glued to a toilet seat. Well the update is: He may have done it himself. No one is denying that this man was glued to a toilet seat, it would be too easy to disprove that. (just checking the dispatch transcripts would show if a call had been made about a guy glued to a toilet seat or not) No, the question now is: Did he glue himself to the toilet seat?

Apparently this guy has claimed to have been glued to a toilet before. My question is, does his ass just beg to be glued to something, does he just have really BAD luck or (and I think this is the winner) is he just nuttier than squirrel shit*? I understand a desire for attention, but really what is wrong with a beard of bees? No one has done that in a while. What makes a person smear their ass with glue and then SUE when they get stuck? Is it a fetish thing? Does he get off on talking about or having his ass glued to the toilet?

* Tangent: Speaking of squirrel shit, how come you don't have to be careful walking under trees to avoid having squirrel scat fall on your head? I mean everyone either has had bird poo fall on them or knows some one who has. Why not squirrel poo?

UPDATE UPDATE

Well the Glue Guy is offering to take a Polygraph test. Now, my next question is: How does having your ass glued to a toilet give you diabetes?

Frustration is ...

2005-11-08T15:06:00.000-06:00

Folding 125 little invitations to a stupid party you didn't even want to go to, much less plan and realizing that the invitations will allways have one corner that doesn't line up because even if you were perfect the paper isn't.

Failure!

2005-11-08T12:03:00.000-06:00

I tried the new format (henceforth junked, excepting THINGS THAT ARE SWEET) for a couple of reasons, but they all boil down to essentially the same thing. I am no good at accepting compliments.

Go ahead, say I have self-esteem issues. I don't mind.

I changed the format because:

1. I think my own life is rather dull and can't imagine anyone wanting to read about it.

2. The level of self-obsession needed to maintain a 'blog that contains little else beyond my own thoughts and what I think about those thoughts has always seemed a little disgusting to me.

Now, before those of you who said you don't like the new format say anything please remember, "I am no good at accepting compliments." I really am excruciatingly bad at it. If you ask Lee he will tell you that often when complimented I smile, lower my eyes, say "Thank you" and touch my nose. While I can't explain the nose touching specifically (just another strange little Amber tic) I will say that the combination of behaviors is a direct result of having no earthly idea what to do. I am only good at accepting compliments when I feel I have earned them. I am grateful for compliments regarding things I have worked hard to accomplish. "That painting is lovely. Your brushwork shows promise." To this I beam and reply that I spent a great deal of time working on my brush work and color blending skills.

"You are very pretty" "You are so well spoken" These are the sorts of compliments that bother me. I become flustered and uncomfortable. Why? Because I don't believe I had anything to do with the aspect of myself that is being complimented. It is as though people are saying "The fact and nature of your existence pleases me." While I doubt they are intended to be such I view these sorts of compliments to be the highest form of flattery. The idea that all I have to do to please someone is simply BE, is far too heady for me.

To bring this back to the format for The Thoughts of Youth, I originally changed it because I felt I owed those of you out there reading something a little better than just me. Just me is dull, whiny, angry, and self-absorbed.

The idea that people, anyone really but even more shocking people I respect, might actually prefer to read my one-sided conversations with the world is the highest compliment I have ever been paid. And I have NO IDEA what to do with it. Thank you.

THINGSTHAT ARE SWEET
Women's lower expectations can lead to a bigger pay off. Once again it sucks to be male.

Italian, Catholic Family Magazine shows a naked woman in sexually provocative advertisement.

It has been a week

2005-11-07T15:20:00.000-06:00

I am wondering what people think of the change to Thoughts of Youth. You all like-y?
No like-y? Are you gonna take the poll to let me know?

Generation Y kicks some workplace ASS

2005-11-07T12:32:00.000-06:00

Generation Y (for those of you who may not know, Gen Y is me and most of my readers) is hot shit in the workplace. Considered to be both "High Performance and High Maintenance" Gen Y is driving employers up the wall by not being responsive to the typical corporate command structure. Gen Y employees are as demanding of their employer as their employer is of them. Having watched the dotcom bust and having seen previous generations (our parents generation especially) struggle with balancing work life and private life makes Gen Y much more willing than previous generations to change employers and even careers to get their employment needs met. Gen Y also, it seems, is more fiscally responsible with saving for retirement a high priority among the twenty something set.

So to all of those who called us "Generation Y-bother" and mocked our "slacker" attitudes, I say "That is MS. Y-bother to you, and are my copies ready yet?"

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET UPDATE
For those of you who read Thursday November 3rd's THINGS THAT ARE SWEET and tuned in last night to the West Wing Debate ... Who Won? but sadly they are saying that viewers will NOT get to vote on who becomes the next West Wing president.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET
Since no one was killed ... PIRATE ATTACKS are Sweet.

Continuing with the current theme of Feminism

2005-11-04T14:45:00.000-06:00

Check out Norway. I applaud the parliamentarians for their protest, but check out the bottom of the page "a new law will demand that at least 40 percent of members on company boards are women." OUCH! Talk about a backward leap!

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

Glue in the news. Between the guy in Home Depot and the guy suing his ex ... That Elmer's Glue cow is hanging her head in shame.

Also sweet, living in Wisconsin. Why? 'Cause I'm going to get me a clone!

Banning Feminist Books

2005-11-03T11:27:00.000-06:00

Neatly tying together the topics of two recent Internet discussions I participated in (Banned Books at The Ockhamist and Feminism on Ryan Thompson's Blog) comes this little item of joy from the AFP. It seems that Spain is putting the kibosh on the distribution of "Girl's Guides" aimed at 11-18 year olds as they are concerned that the guide "incites the practice of homosexuality among girls not sufficiently mature to have any kind of sexual relations."

Kismet! In a relatively short time I have discussed banning books and the Feminist movement and now here is an article on Spain banning a book from their schools because it promotes extremist feminist ideology.
I am most curious about any thoughts anyone might have on this.

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET
So, I am playing around with having "Things that are Sweet" become a permanent fixture. If I run out of things that are sweet I'll just stop doing it.
At any rate, today's thing that is sweet is: Scripted Television Reality Tie-ins.

ABC's Lost is planning on releasing a book written by a dead passenger of the crashed plane at the same time the manuscript is uncovered on the show. I am not an obsessive Lost fan, but many of the people out there are and will likely buy the book to search for clues to the show (which I am sure they will find since the fictional fiction's plot seems to parallel one of the subplots on the show) Now THAT is what I call marketing.
Along similar lines The West Wing is trying to bolster flagging ratings with *shock* interesting television. This Sunday the Democratic Nominee, Santos (Played by Jimmy Smits) and the Republican Nominee, Vinick (Played by Alan Alda) will participate in a live, loosely scripted debate. I think this is just setting the stage for a national vote for the next president of the NBC show. The only thing that could make this not sweet is if more people vote in the fictional election I think is coming than voted in the last Presidential election.

Things that are SWEET

2005-11-02T11:31:00.000-06:00

From the AP

Man vs. Beast: Battle to the Death

Romantic Mice

and finally

From ACS News Today

Kiddies on a bender!

Feminism

2005-11-01T15:13:00.000-06:00

One of the most popular topics in the 'blog-o-sphere is the battle of the sexes. It can be found in one form or another in nearly every 'blog post but occasionally becomes much more blatant. Recently I have been seeing, again, a burst of posts much more directly related to the sexes and their relationship to each other.
Now, my own view of feminism and the feminist movement is that feminists are challenging the long held notion that women are, by definition, inferior to men.
I am a great believer in equal pay for equal work and I believe that women are no more "completed" by motherhood than men are "completed" by fatherhood.
So much of the battle of the sexes seems to be rooted in the idea that there must be a superior sex. Over and over the underlying theme appears to be that for the world to function one sex must be inferior to the other and that because women have not proven themselves to be the superior sex they must by definition be the inferior sex.
So much of this doggerel is, I think, a holdover from a bygone era. Not too long ago in the course of human history women were less capable of providing support and sustenance for themselves and their families. Less upper body strength meant that in a world where things were most often accomplished by brute strength women were at a decided disadvantage in the work place.
Along came the industrial revolution and suddenly women became a much more viable option in the workforce.
I may be just a silly, stupid woman, but for me the feminist movement was (and is) about drawing attention to the fact that in today's fully automated workplace (there are a few exceptions) women are equal to men in every way and society should reflect this equality. As a woman I have no expectation of social equality and true workplace equality happening overnight, but I do have hope that, as the rate of social change increases due to ease of communication, it will happen soon.

This all does have a relationship to, well, relationships. I see no reason why, if I am as capable as a man and his equal, I should be inferior to him in a romantic relationship.

Why should I be romantically subservient? Why am I wrong to want the same things from life as my husband, brother, friend or father wants?

I have never gotten a satisfactory explanation as to why in a romantic relationship someone must be subordinate. Please, someone explain this to me.

Completely Random News Wrap Up

2005-11-01T10:11:00.000-06:00

Have you ever wanted to take a wasps' nest, cram it into a hornets' nest, shove that whole thing into a bee hive, give it a good swift kick and then hang around and see what happens? Something tells me that Cook County Judge Jeffrey Lawrence has had just that impulse.

IN OTHER NEWS
With the Gang of 14 and the Dems with their Alito Fillibuster and the Republicans with their Nuclear Option the whole situation in the Senate is giving me giggle fits.

In Personal News
The Halfway House Girls welcome a new generation. Emma Jean Watts was born early this morning. Momma, Baby and Daddy are all doing fine. Pictures have been promised so keep checking The Halfway House 'Blog for updates!

Ok Ok

2005-10-25T12:05:00.000-05:00

I have taken this before, but since I am seeing it from almost everyone, I decided to share.

You are a
Social Liberal
(63% permissive)

and an...
Economic Conservative
(78% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Libertarian

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Rosa Parks is dead

2005-10-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

No matter what your view of her, she did impact history. Dead at 92.

Thought Round-up

2005-10-24T15:43:00.000-05:00

1. You know your nursing home is in Wisconsin when cheese soup base and Sauerkraut are measured by the case.

2. Perhaps it is not that the elderly lack so much energy compaired to younger people they just don't consume as much caffine.

3. The people who are still freaking out about the fact that I am getting married need to mellow out. They thought it was cool when I challenged expectations by entering a male dominated field, when I was more interested in my education than marriage or children and any number of other things. When I fail to fit THEIR simple definition of who I am they are horrified and vindictive. Bite me.

4. Few people are satisfied just wasting their time. They want to waste yours too.

5. I agree totally.

6. My skin has the same attitude problem the rest of me does. It will be fine for months then suddenly go crazy. One big oil slick. I use a mild astringant once to try to tame it and suddenly it is overly dry. Just like me. Any critisism when I KNOW I have been misbehaving and *BAM!* reversal of behavior to the opposite, undesireable extreme.

7. Vending Machine snacks are a bad idea.

8. It is unreasonable to expect that you will always like a person you love, but just because they are unlikable for a moment does not make them unlovable.

9. Fruit2O and the like are the greatest beverages ever invented.

2005-10-24T14:51:00.000-05:00

So I read About Last Night from Mr. Krupa and I suddenly had this strange twisty sick feeling in my stomach.

I don't know what caused it. It could have been sympathy for the woman in the apartment below them, empathy for Ona (since I know what it is like to have to pee and know that there may be a mad-man lurking in the neighborhood.), maybe it was a little loneliness since it seems like forever since I have had the option of nudging Lee awake because I was scared, or maybe it was just the vending machine meat stick I had for an afternoon snack.

Mother nature is kicking our collective ass, why? Because she can. Bitch.

2005-10-24T09:44:00.000-05:00

So, Wilma is beating on Florida and Alpha has arrived. Alpha makes history as the first time EVER we had to move on to the Greek Alphabet for the naming of Hurricanes and Tropical storms. I will grant you that the current naming practice has not been around for very long, the practice of alternating between male and female names started in 1978 as part of women's lib (from 1941-1951 and 1953-1978 only women's names were used, from 1951-1953 the phonetic alphabet was used, previous to that they were named for the Saint Day on which they made landfall) but still this has been a busy year for hurricanes.

The fires and earthquakes of California and the hurricanes in the east make me think ... When the Big One hits and California falls into the ocean and the entire eastern seaboard is scrubbed away by tropical storms and hurricanes ... they can all eat my safe, dry, "Fly-over-country" ass. Buwahahaha

Right up there with watching retarded kids play tether-ball

2005-10-20T08:53:00.000-05:00

not that I have ever done that, but I think this is on par.
Last night on the way home from the store I looked out the passenger side window and spotted a child with Cerebral palsy . Someone had strapped a leaf-blower to the side of his electric wheel chair and he was sitting at the edge of the road, with his hearing protection on, blowing fall debris out of his yard into the street. I am sure this means I am evil but funny to me is watching a kid in an electric wheelchair try to do yard work.

Now, since there were two other children out with him who looked to be his brothers I am fairly certain he was not being abused ... most likely he wanted to do what his older brothers were doing (they both had rakes) and someone figured out a way he could help.

New Obsession?
Yes! I LOVE Etiquette Hell. Funny and horrific beyond belief.

shudder

2005-10-12T19:24:00.000-05:00

So after Jellybean (of all people) sent me to Tucker Max.com and I read some of his horribly depraved stories I have only this to say about him, Honey you might want to Botox ... Crowsfeet, sell-out and manwhore do not mix.

Thought Round-up

2005-10-12T13:41:00.000-05:00

Joy of Joys! 'til Thursday night I can watch The West Wing 24 hours a day!

I have a new job. This is exciting for the following reasons: 1) I will actually use my degree doing this job since I have to work with the arts and humanities board 2)I like money and I will be earning over $12.50 an hour 3)It is located close to my apartment so its an easy commute

The current Foamy's Rant is the most horrific EVER. I actually exclaimed "Oh MY GOD! HOLY SHIT!" when watching it. While I love Foamy's Rants ... this one might be a bit over the line.

My longest thought of this batch:
Being a good puppy parent is probably the best way to learn to be a good parent of humans, without actually trying to raise a child. You need to determine timly and even handed punishments for misbehavior, keep your resolve because often the individual being punished thinks the punishment is too cruel to be withstood, and of course there is the "gross-out" factor.
My mother called this afternoon asking me to pick up my parents' family room since Tweedy had destroyed many many things this morning and trashed the room.
Items destroyed:
One TV remote
One $40 'Memory Foam' pillow
One disposable camera containing now ruined pictures of my CO trip, and a retirement party (This one boggles my mind, after the first bite he should have gotten a nasty zap that one would think would prevent further destruction)
One drinking cup (plastic)
Three rolls toilet papper
One styrofoam cup of soy-sauce
Various bits of paper and odds and ends rendered unidentifiable

So Tweedy has lost his "inside" privlages for the afternoon (don't cry too hard for him though, he has a nice warm doghouse and plenty of squirrles to chase outside) he HATES this because he is our needy Tweedy and can't stand to be outside when his people are inside. I have determined that no amount of crying will get him back inside though.

As far as the gross-out factor... in the process of cleaning up the destroyed items I discovered a strange brown smear on the floor directly behind me. It was upon the discovery of the brown smear I noted dampness on the knee of my jeans. "Oh god." I thought "he chewed all of this stuff and got sick. If he has eaten enough to make him sick we might need to take him to the vet." So, being the brave doggy care taker I am I leaned in an took a big sniff it was ...

Soy-sauce.

Thank god.

A Youthful Thought

2005-10-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

What has the Internet and 'Blogging done to the literary allusion? Will computers slowly render the novel as we know it incomprehensible? While allusion can and does exist online more commonly a blogger will simply link to what he or she is alluding to so any reader unfamiliar with the work being alluded to can be quickly brought up to speed and those in the know can ignore the highlighted text.

Much of the "work" of reading is being eliminated because there no longer need be a baseline level of literary familiarity. I can't figure out, if the Internet is indeed fundamentally changing the way we read for pleasure, if it is a good or bad thing. Author's intent becomes clearer, and there is no work too esoteric to be referenced, to me these both seem like good things. Conversely, author's intent becomes clearer which reduces the level of reader interaction via interpretation and without a need for literary common ground will the individual become even more intellectually isolated?

I don't know. I don't even know if I am making any sense. All I know is that the Internet allowing us to make allusion into instant, concrete, direct reference seems very important in my little brain.

Shoes.

2005-10-06T11:24:00.000-05:00

I am, generally speaking, a very practical woman when it comes to footwear. I love my brown loafers and a kitten heel is my friend. I usually prefer shoes that are easy to walk in at high rates of speed. But SOMETIMES I become a cliché of a woman and I go for a SERIOUS shoe. When I say "serious shoe" please remember these shoes are anything but serious. No, a serious shoe looks more like this. Today is an excellent example of a serious shoe day:
4" stiletto heel? CHECK
Impossibly pointy toe? CHECK
Outrageous and nearly impossible to wear color/pattern? CHECK

So, I can't really walk BUT OH! the compliments!

Strange Kid, Strange Adult

2005-10-05T15:45:00.000-05:00

I take a perverse pride in the fact that both of the childhood beliefs I submited to I Used to Believe are doing so well and ranked so high.

There goes the neighborhood

2005-10-03T16:22:00.000-05:00

After last year around this time and the dead cab driver just down the block from me now we have THIS GUY, one street over.

August Wilson is Dead

2005-10-03T08:49:00.000-05:00

I have never been a big August Wilson fan but it s still sad that such a notable American playwright is dead.

SAVED! Crash

2005-09-30T15:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I watched Crash and all I could think was "There is no way people, I mean REAL people can be this racist. Which put me in mind of watching Saved! with two High School friends and Jen Perkins. After the movie my High School Friends said "that movie was kind of stupid. No one is like that in real life. I mean if people were really like that maybe they would have a point ... But NO ONE is that Jesus obsessed." To which Jen and I replied "No, there are people like that, you are just lucky enough to have never met any of them."
Reflecting on the parallel between their experience watching Saved!, and my experience watching Crash made me feel both very lucky and very sad. I think deep down I still believe NO ONE is REALLY racist. The concept is too foreign to me.

Bitter

2005-09-29T12:16:00.000-05:00

We finaly have a Hockey Season and I can't watch the games ... no hockey is being broadcast in my area.

Book Banning

2005-09-28T09:12:00.000-05:00

So, Blandus, Mr. Cook and I are having a fun little chat about Banned Book Week over at The Ockhamist.

2005-09-27T08:51:00.000-05:00

READ BANNED AND CHALLENGED BOOKS

True Enough

2005-09-27T08:23:00.000-05:00

From News of the Weird

"Judge Jeffrey K. Sprecher of Berks County, Pa., dismissed charges against a man in August for buying beer for his underage neighbor, ruling that the prosecutor hadn't proved all of the elements of the crime. Specifically, said Sprecher, there was no evidence offered that Miller Genuine Draft is "beer." (Prosecutors usually submit a government-created listing of beers as proof but failed to do that.)"

Hurricane KAT and my own self-centeredness

2005-09-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

Today the idea that New Orleans might not be rebuilt suddenly hit me hard today. It was on my mind all day. I wasn't thinking about all the people who lost their homes, nor even directly about all the national history lost. All I was thinking about was the fact that New Orleans is/was one of about maybe one 1/2 dozen cities left in the world that I wanted to see before I die that I haven't seen yet ... and now I might never get the chance ... because I may have passed up every opportunity to see the city. Even if I see it now (after it is rebuilt) it wont be the same. I guess KAT put me in mind now of all the opportunities lost forever.

Getting married

2005-09-14T12:21:00.000-05:00

I just got an email informing me that one of my heros is getting married. Maggie is without a doubt one of the most amazing women I have ever met. Because of her I am hard to impress. One of the cooks I once worked with was trying to impress me by telling me that he throws knives ... to which I replied, "So? I know a woman who eats fire." When she came out to dinner with me and my folks she turned to us and said "All I have to say is never date a clown." and we all nodded understanding the inherant trouble with such a relationship.

She is in her 40's ... could easily pass for 28 ... she has lead such an amazing and interesting life. She makes art and is now marrying her doggie's daddy. Congratulations to her.

Update

2005-09-13T10:16:00.000-05:00

Very sick ... in Hillsdale. Yuck.

The thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts

Library and books

For amy d

Question

Least romantic person ever.

a little creativity ... doesn't go far enough

Dreaming strange

Halloween, finally!

The Guinness

BOYCOTT!!!!

Frustration

Eccentric or Crazy?

Spring has sprung

Would you please use that in a sentence?

The Wave of the FUTURE!!!

Happy Harry Potter Day!!!

Equus Revisited

Do you know what the problem is with your generation?

Zoning laws & Chain Letters

A Bit about Beheading and Naked Harry Potter

Travelers

American Gods

Married

Cleaning my old bedroom

STRESS

So depressing

This is awsome

and you are over it.

Stupid Media

That is just rude

Its a RIOT!

Little Miss Sunshine

Who is John Galt?

Smok 'em while you've got 'em

Things I am sure that everyone who is not me learned of and got over long ago.

ALSO

OUCH!

American Dreamz

To Miss Diana

I am tired

My Grandfather Died.

Recent conversation from the "Hobit Hole*"

A little sad

My days and nights

Merry Christmas

So I was doin' this thing...

YEAR IN REVIEW!!!

Last night I had a dream.

Happy Winter Solstice Everyone!

New to Keenspot

Merry FUCKIN' Christmas!

Horrific

Unreasonable glee and spleen venting.

You were losers then you are losers now

Then I watched TV...

People Irritate

WTF

You will have fun or I'll cut you! I swear to GOD! or Things that make my eye twitch

THINGS THAT ARE NOT SWEET

*Sigh*

SWEET and SOUR

HP & the GoF

HARRY POTTER DAY!

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

Shamelessly stolen

TIME

THINGS THAT ARE SWEET

Stupid questions, glue fettish and squirrel poo

Frustration is ...

Failure!

It has been a week

Generation Y kicks some workplace ASS

Continuing with the current theme of Feminism

Banning Feminist Books

Things that are SWEET

Feminism

Completely Random News Wrap Up

Ok Ok

Rosa Parks is dead

Thought Round-up

Sigh

shudder